Week #6 Of School, I Think?!

Yeah, I skipped a week. NBD. But it's going well. I've come to terms with the fact that although it's SCHOOL AND I HAVE TO WORK HARD!, it's still JUST school, if that makes sense. Like, if I fuck it up because it's just not my thing, then heck, it's just not my thing, right? Like, the best I can do is try my hardest, and if it works out, then it works out, and if it doesn't, then back to the start, but that's okay. There are plenty of things you can do with your life and feel content besides academia. Here is a list:

1. Boob-evaluator
2. Wine-tester
3. Beer-sampler
4. Quesadilla inspector
5. Hot-wing expert
6. Humidor enthusiast
7. Condor-tamer (Howie)
8. Baby-kisser
9. French person-handler
10. Boxer

See? Weird! But I am enjoying school and I am dealing with it way better now. But there are one or two things that suck.

I found that the thing that does suck about school is NOT the reading, and it's NOT the professors, and it's NOT the material, and it's NOT even the papers; it's the other grad students. No joke. Because grad students are like the worst people in the world. I wish I was kidding, but holy crap, these people are awful. (Edited for non-judgmental sexiness).

And then there are the people that say stuff totally irrelevant or counter-productive to the conversation, and it makes me want to crap in their skull. It's either when they say something to sound smart, or when they nit-pick something that doesn't really pertain to the conversation. For example,

Professor: "Here's what they call philosophical concept X."

Fuckface Student #1: "That reminds me of this really obscure book I read... etc."

Fuckface Student #2: "Define the word 'what'..."

Me: SHUT UP OR I WILL KILL YOU, AND I AM NOT KIDDING.

Jesus: "That ain't no shit!"

Audience: "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!"

So, I guess that's pretty much it. My school-week is over, so I am going to go drink whiskey. SEE YOU ON THE FLIPSIDE!

Sincerely
Cory Alan

Week #4 Of School. Fiiiiiine.

So! I'm getting into the routine. Of things. My sweaty, bloody bruises are healing. The things I'm most worried about are: what if my papers suck, AND, what if my presentation sucks? I guess the worst that can happen is that they suck, and I fix it or do it over again, right? I feel the best I have about grad school so far. I don't feel like hanging up the towel like I did a few weeks ago... It's just a big sacrifice, that's all.

But more importantly, beer rulez. Too bad it's so delicious. I wish there was a type of beer that had negative calories, and, when you drank it, it was like doing 150 sit-ups, but it got you drunk as crap. With 40% alcohol, but it tastes like 5%. So pretty much the more you get wasted, the more awesome your abs are.

Also, this fantasy beer would have a chemical that made you stay hydrated, so you didn't drink water like some sort of thirsty jerk the next day. I drank a bunch of beer last Saturday night, and I still haven't peed. So creepy. Anyway, the fantasy beer (or FB, for short) would have anti-diuretical properties as well, so you wouldn't have to pee all of the time when you drank it. Also, it would make it so you didn't think of stupid things to say to people you've never met. AND, it would make your hair look good. And every case would come with a free jet-pack. Duuuuuh. I will call this beer "Cory Alan's Lincoln-Lag(er)." Tagline = "Build yourself a cabin with Lincoln Lagers! A CABIN THAT'S FUCKING WASTED!"

Right!!?

Week #3 Of Faux-Losophy

So last week was just too much. Graduate school is incredibly overwhelming, and I guess the trick is to not believe yourself when you think to yourself, "Fuck, I don't think I can DO this." It's hard to think about not being able to do something even if you wanted to, but I would say it's almost all in your head. If you don't get it as fast as the other kids, study harder. If it's easier for you than for most others, then be totally stoked that it's working out for you.

But it's getting better, I think. I think the next few weeks/months, I'll start getting settled into my new routine. The reading workload is fine; I'm not too bogged down by it. It gives me something to do on weekend afternoons, when I'm usually restless and bored. Also, I am pretty sure I can rework papers as much as possible if I get started on them soon enough, so that's all right. I really think the department and the professors are on my side. I have to present a paper too, but it'll be my first time doing that in years, so if I practice and practice and then still fuck it up, I won't get down on myself too bad. I guess that's all there is to it.

On a semi-related note, it's been awesome for bike-riding these days. Bicycle is how I get to school since paying for parking passes that don't even guarantee a spot totally sucks. Fall is setting in, and couldn't be happier. It's beautiful outside.

I ought to get back to a UCC church this weekend, too; it's been too long. I miss you, Jebus!